Develop emotional intelligence with these 10 tips

Have you ever found yourself reacting to a situation and then thought, “There was no need for all this”? Maybe it’s time to start giving the importance it deserves. development of emotional intelligence.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the term used by psychology to define our ability to deal with different emotions.

One of the main names in literature when it comes to emotional intelligence is Daniel Goleman, who is a psychologist, writer and PhD from Harvard University. He became famous after publishing the book “Emotional Intelligence: The Revolutionary Theory That Redefines What It Means to Be Smart”.

From this work onwards, he became popularly known as “the father of emotional intelligence”. The book in question places emotional intelligence at the top of the list of the main “intelligences”. He reinforces that our emotions are among the most difficult things to manage, which is why this virtue is so valued.

Why is it important to have emotional intelligence?

The reasons why emotional intelligence is so important are clear: it is what makes everything else work.

When we manage to take control of our own emotions, we achieve success in our relationships and professional lives, we become self-motivated and have the extra energy to overcome daily obstacles.

Emotional intelligence also helps us to have control over our lives as a whole, and with it comes greater decision-making power – and confidence in our own decisions –, continuous growth in productivity, reduced anxiety, greater responsibility, less procrastination, and a series of other benefits.

Pillars of emotional intelligence

In his book, Daniel Goleman talks about the five pillars of emotional intelligence, which are:

Know your own emotions
Control these emotions
Develop self-motivation
Develop empathy
Develop interpersonal relationships

Have you ever stopped to think about how these pillars are in your life? In the following topics, we will discuss them in ten essential tips.

10 tips for having emotional intelligence

Self-knowledge

First of all, you need to know yourself. Know what you like, what you don't like, and understand your reactions to different situations in your daily life. Self-knowledge will be the foundation for all the positive changes that developing emotional intelligence will bring.

Some benefits of self-knowledge:

Discover your calling
Learn to react more gently
Develop self-love
Respect the different
Gain self-confidence

And much more. At this stage, it is worth having the assistance of a psychologist, who will guide you on the path to achieving self-knowledge.

Seek other people's opinions about yourself

It's not always easy to hear from someone that we're acting wrongly or that we've hurt someone. However, it's important to hear the opinions of others, especially people who live with us on a daily basis and can see areas for improvement.

Try counting to ten before reacting.

We are not always able to react coherently to situations that happen to us. However, through self-knowledge, it becomes easier to think before acting, or to hold back our emotions for a few seconds before reacting badly to a situation.

So, this tip applies to countless situations: when you feel like you're going to overreact, breathe and count to ten to calm down.

Whenever possible, wait for tempers to calm down before making a decision.

If counting to ten isn't enough, and you can wait, wait until the next day before making any decisions that you might regret later. With a rested mind, it's much easier to make choices.

Understand that everything is temporary

Sometimes, suffering blinds us and we believe that there is no solution to many problems. The point is that, when we look back, we can understand that everything we have experienced has already passed, both the good things and the bad things.

Understanding that everything in life is temporary makes decisions more rational and there is less anguish in delicate situations.

Really interact socially – be physically present

Sometimes, we are only physically present in places, but with our minds elsewhere, with other concerns, or even checking out people's lives on the internet.

It’s okay to be active online, but when you do have group time, enjoy your own company and have real conversations. This helps you stay in the present moment, stop comparing yourself, and develop lasting relationships.

Good relationships are important to maintain healthy minds.

Show interest in meeting people

Be sincere and try to be genuinely interested in people. The more real and trusting relationships are established, the more there is an exchange of learning and experiences that are important for forming sensible opinions.

Explain your decisions before imposing them

The tone of voice is often to blame for creating bad atmospheres and hostility. It doesn't hurt to think a little about the way you speak. No one is obliged to do what we want, not even in work relationships.

Explaining your ideas and positions in a soft voice can make everything happen more coherently.

Take social action

Being involved in projects that do good for others, without merit, is very important for maintaining good mental health. When we look at the reality of others, we become more grateful.

Find hobbies

Find things you enjoy doing and set aside time for them. Hobbies are a way to escape from everyday problems, a way to relieve stress and recharge your batteries.