Develop your emotional intelligence with these 10 tips.

Have you ever found yourself reacting to a situation and then thought, "all of that wasn't necessary"? Perhaps it's time to start giving the proper importance to... Development of emotional intelligence.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the term used in psychology to define our ability to deal with different emotions.

One of the leading names in the literature when it comes to emotional intelligence is that of Daniel Goleman, who is a psychologist, writer, and PhD from Harvard University. He became famous after publishing the book “Emotional intelligence: the revolutionary theory that redefines what it means to be intelligent..

From this work, he became popularly known as "the father of emotional intelligence." The book in question places emotional intelligence at the top of the list of key "intelligences." It reinforces that our emotions are among the most difficult things to manage, which is why this virtue is so highly valued.

Why is emotional intelligence important?

The reasons why emotional intelligence is so important are clear: it's the foundation upon which everything else works.

When we are able to take ownership of our own emotions, we achieve success in our relationships and professional lives, we gain self-motivation, and we have extra energy to overcome daily obstacles.

Emotional intelligence also contributes to us having control over our lives as a whole, and with it comes greater decision-making power – and confidence in our own decisions – continuous growth in productivity, reduced anxiety, greater responsibility, less procrastination, and a host of other benefits.

Pillars of emotional intelligence

In his book, Daniel Goleman discusses the five pillars of emotional intelligence, which are:

Understanding one's own emotions
Controlling these emotions
Develop self-motivation
Develop empathy
Developing interpersonal relationships

Have you ever stopped to think about how these pillars are functioning in your life? In the following sections, we will discuss them in ten essential tips.

10 tips for developing emotional intelligence

Self-knowledge

First and foremost, it's necessary to know yourself. To know what you like, what you don't like, and to understand your reactions to different situations in your daily life. Self-knowledge will be the foundation for all the positive changes that the development of emotional intelligence will bring.

Some benefits of self-knowledge:

Discover your calling.
Learning to react in a gentler way
Developing self-love
Respect differences.
Gaining self-confidence

And much more. At this stage, it's worthwhile to seek the assistance of a psychologist, who can guide you on how to achieve self-knowledge.

Seek other people's opinions about yourself.

It's not always easy to hear from someone that we're acting wrongly or that we've hurt someone. However, it's much easier to hear the opinions of others, especially people who interact with us daily and can see areas for improvement.

Try counting to ten before reacting.

We are not always able to react coherently to the situations that happen to us. However, with self-awareness, it becomes easier to think before acting, or to hold back emotions for a few seconds before reacting negatively to a situation.

So, this tip is useful in countless situations: when you feel an overreaction coming on, breathe and count to ten to calm down.

Whenever possible, wait for things to calm down before making a decision.

If counting to ten isn't enough, and it's possible to wait, wait until the next day before making any decisions you might regret later. With a rested mind, it's much easier to make choices.

Understand that everything is temporary.

Sometimes, suffering blinds us, and we believe there's no solution to many problems. The truth is, when we look back, we understand that everything we've experienced is in the past, both the good and the bad.

Understanding that everything in life is temporary leads to more rational decisions and less anxiety in delicate situations.

Engage in genuine social interaction – be physically present.

Sometimes we are physically present in places, but our minds are elsewhere, preoccupied with other concerns, or even checking out people's lives online.

It's fine to be active online, but when you have group moments, cherish their real-life company and enjoy genuine conversations. This helps you focus on the present moment, stop comparing yourself to others, and develop lasting relationships.

Good relationships are important for maintaining healthy minds.

Show interest when getting to know people.

Be sincere and try to genuinely care about people. The more real and trusting relationships you build, the more you can exchange valuable learning and experiences that contribute to forming sound opinions.

Explain your decisions before imposing them.

Tone of voice is often to blame for creating bad atmospheres and animosity. It doesn't hurt to think a little about how you speak. No one is obligated to do what we want, not even in work relationships.

Explaining your ideas and positions in a soft voice can make everything happen more coherently.

Do social work.

Being involved in projects that benefit others, without any merit in doing so, is very important for maintaining good mental health. When we look at the reality of others, we become more grateful.

Find hobbies

Find things you enjoy doing and set aside time for them. Hobbies are like an escape from everyday problems; they're a way to relieve stress and recharge your energy.